Why emotional regulation is the missing link in modern leadership
You know the drill. Your calendar is packed, one change isn’t even embedded yet and the next one is already on your plate. Your team expects clarity, stability, decisions. And somewhere between meeting 6 and 7, you notice: your fuse is getting shorter, your focus is scattered, you react faster than you’d like.
A lot of leaders go looking for the solution in a new model, another tool, one more framework. But what if the real leverage point isn’t in your head, but in your nervous system?
In the upcoming issue of our Beanzine (February), Evert Desmidt dissects emotional regulation as a core leadership capability. Not a soft nice-to-have, but a hard requirement to lead in a safe, sharp and sustainable way.
From autopilot to conscious choice
The crucial shift? Noticing when you’re triggered, before you respond.
That moment when you realize:
- my heart rate is going up
- I hear myself listening less
- I get cynical or start to withdraw
That’s where the space opens up: do you stay on autopilot, or do you choose how you want to show up as a leader?
That microsecond between trigger and reaction often determines:
- whether a conversation escalates or deepens
- whether you decide from fear or from clarity
- whether your team experiences you as a predictable anchor or an emotional barometer
Regulation as culture shaper
In the article, Evert shows how your regulation capacity ripples through your whole organization:
- Safety – A leader who stays present and available under pressure creates psychological safety.
- Decision-making – Regulated leaders decide less from reflex, more from direction.
- Culture – Regulation is contagious. The way you deal with stress, emotion and tension sets the tone.
And no, that doesn’t require hours of meditation a day. It does ask for small, smart interventions that bring your nervous system along for the ride.
Micro-interventions that actually stick
In the full Beanzine article, Evert shares concrete micro-practices, such as:
- Breath as reset button – How one conscious breath already shifts the tone before you speak in a tense meeting.
- The Meta Moment – The simple question “How do I want to show up right now?” as a gamechanger in conflict conversations.
- Checking your story – Why it’s not your emotions but your thoughts that are the real fuel behind your stress.
No fluffy tips, but grounded, practical tools you can test tomorrow in your next one-on-one, team meeting or board presentation.
About Evert Desmidt
Evert is one of those people who bring calm into the room. Not by being silent, but by being fully present.
He quickly picks up on what’s happening in a group, names the undercurrent without drama, and combines gentleness with sharp questions. His work revolves around leadership, team development and new ways of organizing. Not through big theory, but through small, precise interventions that unlock movement where things are stuck.
He weaves together coaching, group facilitation, systemic thinking and insights from mindfulness and emotional intelligence. Always with a sharp ear for what’s alive, and a big heart for growth. And when he’s not working with leaders, you’ll most likely find him on his bike, out in nature or deep into a new book. Always on the move. Always discovering.
In February, our Beanzine will dive deeper into this theme with Evert Desmidt’s full article: “Emotional Regulation: The forgotten key to sustainable leadership.”
Ready to upgrade your leadership not just strategically, but through your nervous system as well?
Keep an eye on our Beanzine!
